Week 5: The frat house
A face like shrek wearing a necklace of gold
If confused, read week 4 or start from the beginning with week 1.
Jack was away for the weekend, and Millie felt flustered at the thought of spending the weekend alone in her fraternity house.
She had resisted the term at first. It’s not! She would retort. It’s a professional networking house that just happens to be all guys. But by week five, she could no longer deny its nature: She was living in a glorified frat house.
Millie and Jack were like two necklaces worn together for so long that to wear them separately, to untangle and unclasp, would not only be a hassle but feel incomplete. She had forgotten what it was like to exist singularly, and as she got ready to attend her meetup event solo, she felt as though she was missing something. Maybe I should just stay home, she thought.
The kitchen floors were sticky this Saturday morning, likely due to the pregame Mr. Italy had thrown the night before. Crumbs stuck to the bottom of her socks. She lifted her foot to remove the sharp corner of a tortilla chip. Millie slid into her loafers and reached for the door. She had requested that the guys start to lock the door, but when they were drunk, they forgot. The lock was unbolted.
Millie’s only accessory to her classically boring outfit was a golden star necklace. She had wanted to remain inconspicuous. If this all goes wrong, I won’t want anyone to remember me, she had thought when she slid into a grey tank top and her most forgettable pair of blue jeans.
Mission Dolores Park was sunny and packed with other young people in tank tops and blue jeans. Which group is it? Millie wondered as she paced through the park. She climbed to the tippy-top of the hill, scanning the grassy field from her vantage point. It was difficult to discern groups from the collective gravitation toward shade.
She loitered frantically before choosing her first group. Excuse me? She piped in. Are you here for a meet-up group?
The swoopy-haired boy answered with a nod. Yeah. Which one are you looking for?
Uh, Millie hesitated, friend speed-dating?
Nah, he said, shaking his head. This is the Penn alumni meet-up.
Oh! She exclaimed. Okay, never mind.
Millie rushed away, scrambling back up to the top of the hill to scope for another large group. She spotted a flock of blankets underneath the shady trees.
Excuse me? Is this a meetup group?
The dark-haired girl shook her head and then returned to her conversation.
Millie considered going home or buying a burrito and then going home. Just then, she saw a young man tentatively approach a pack of people. She followed him like a friend through a crowded bar. Millie felt swallowed up, swathed in introductions, and caught in conversations she’d choose a burrito over.
Excuse me? A man approached, sweat dripping off his bare head. If you don’t mind me asking, what is your necklace?
Millie glanced down as if to confirm her accessory.
Oh, this? It’s the star of David.
His eyebrows crinkled together.
It’s a Jewish symbol, she clarified.
Oh, my bad. He lifted his hands in a verbal defensive position.
What? Millie asked.
I just don’t mean to offend. Asking about religion and all.
It’s no offense! Millie snapped defensively. I’m proud to be Jewish.
He nodded uncomfortably and then left, likely in search of a new friend. Millie thought of the night before when she had attended a Friday night dinner alone. No part of her wanted to go. Her body resisted the commute like a bug flying through bug spray. But within minutes of her arrival she had recognized a familiar face who grabbed her hand. Come sit with my friends!
That was easy. Millie concluded. Friend dating is much harder.
Millie woke up on Sunday morning to a strange sensation on her face. She reached for her cheek; it was warm and tender.
AH! She screamed in panic at the sight of her reflection. Her face had grown and was now contorted; the right half had doubled in size as though she had gotten wisdom teeth removed the day before. Well, at least the only person I’ll see today is my doctor, she sighed.
Big stick on three, sweetie. Millie hummed as he stuck a needle into her arm.
Did you tell Boyfriend about the Alabama game? Nurse asked.
Yes! Jack was like, how did you know there was a game? I tried to keep it together, but then I told him about you.
Nurse chuckled as he wiped up the blood that had sputtered onto her arm. Oh and dude, what happened to your face? Are you alright?
I woke up like this, Millie joked, posing dramatically with her free arm. Honestly, though. Probably a spider bite?
Well now what are you gonna do? Nurse asked jokingly. Spray your face with bugspray at night?
Millie called an Uber for the long drive home.
Excuse me, miss?
Millie plucked out her AirPods.
Do you see the ride on your phone?
Millie reached for her phone, suddenly alarmed. No. What happened?
He shrugged, I don’t know. This has never happened before. I guess it was cancelled.
Can you pull over at the next exit? She asked in a slight shrill.
How about I just take you where you need to go?
Millie hesitated, then shook her head. Please just pull over.
Aw, come on! He exclaimed. I’m already on the highway. What if I give you my driver's license? Here, he reached back and held it out for her.
Millie glanced briefly at herself in the rearview mirror. Like shrek and an ogre had a baby. For the first time in her life, she was grateful for a bug bite.
She reached for his driver’s license and slipped the Jewish star down her shirt. Okay, sounds good. Do you have the address still?
She watched the map anxiously until she arrived safely back frat house.
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XOXO,
Lila
“Like shrek and an ogre had a baby.” 😭